I
understand that I have sort of fallen off the face of the earth since February,
and as much as I have been desperate to blog about something... anything...
it has just not been possible.
Despite
that, I have had the idea of change on my mind since February, and I even
started to write this post on 4 March (you gotta give me credit for that, even
though this post has had 3 different dates on it). I don't know if it may
be because so many things have been changing around me lately, or what, but it
has seemed to take over my thoughts. I started thinking about the idea of
"fatal change" (I shall claim rights on the coinage of the term,
thank you). The idea that any kind of change is fatal in anyone's life. There's
a saying that says "the only constant is change". Therefore, in my
eyes, change is fatal.
Fatal can
be defined as controlled or decreed by fate; predetermined.
Change is
defined as to make different; to cause change. (Definitions from Word Web).
Therefore,
"fatal change" is a predetermined change, where factors have been
influenced by fate.
I feel
like my whole life at the moment has been one "fatal change" after
the next. Some have taught me a great deal and some have made clear some of my
past mistakes. It's shown me some of the things I've taken for granted or not
completely acknowledged. It's made me cry, it's made me smile, made me
contemplate, consider, reflect, analyse. I won't lie; it has been tough to
rethink things. I never really considered the idea of change, even though
during my childhood I put myself through a few major (and possibly unnecessary)
changes, moving around schools, and giving up things I enjoyed for a
season.
This is
probably starting to sound a bit depressive, but I'm not one who actually
enjoys change. I like things to stay the way they are, comfortable, the same,
unchanged. And with all the change happening around me, I guess it just makes
me a little bit uncomfortable, uneasy even.
So I guess
what I'm trying to say is that change is inevitable, no ,after how much we try
to resist it. It will happen whether we like it or not.
As I sit
and type this up in a lecture theatre waiting for my psychology class, I can
overhear Avril Lavigne's "Keep Holding On" playing through someone's
earphones. Maybe it's a reassuring message from the fatal forces that be.
"Keep
holding on, cause you know we'll make it through."
All that
is left to say is if change is getting you down the way it's getting me down,
stay strong! It may only last a season, but in the end it may be for the best,
even if you can't see that now. So embrace it!
Stay
strong, and keep believing!
Much love,
<3
Nicole_ Kayley
